Calvin's Love: Gifts

When Calvin had passed away I had an amazing support group. Amazing is an understatement. I had a community of people, friends, family, coworkers, and strangers reach out to my family and I during our time of pure devastation. I've mentioned this before but we received hundreds of cards, meals, gifts, books, flowers, prayers, and thoughtful words from people all over the world. Yes, people in numerous different states were praying for us as well as another country. I had multiple people tell me their entire church was praying for us. You have no idea how much James and I felt those prayers in those moments. I mean literally FELT them. I remember just being numb for days. It was hard to even cry because we were just numb. I think that was a survival feeling that God allowed us to have so that we could get through the worst of it. Calvin was born on a Wednesday and we were able to come home later that Friday. I think it was that Saturday James and I were sitting at the dinner table trying to eat one of the many meals prepared for us and discussing memorial service plans for Calvin. Not a discussion you ever want to have or ever dream of having. We felt something in that moment that I will never forget. It was pure peace. I fully believe that peace came from the hundreds of people praying for us right at that minute. Not the peace like everything is okay peace, more like my heart was able to just be still for a few minutes peace. This is one instance I remember very clear but there were many like that in the weeks to come. We had our memorial service for Calvin that Sunday with immediate family and I had many texts from people telling me they were praying for us that day. We felt it. That whole day I could feel their prayers surrounding me, protecting me. I was numbed and I thank God that he allowed us to feel the numbness on that day.

Psalm 107:28-30 "Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven"

So let me get back to the reason for this post. When someone is going through a loss and that can be a loss of anyone, not just a child, you want to do anything you can for that person. I don't have to tell you that what would make that person truly feel better isn't possible, that's a given. I can confirm though that all of those other things do help. No one feels like cooking or eating for that matter so having meals prepared was a huge blessing. Obviously prayers is a main one, and I mean actually taking the time to stop and pray for that person instead of saying you will. Trust me, I was once there and would forget to pray for people I said I would pray for. After going through what I have, I haven't forgotten. Flowers were nice because I enjoy fresh flowers though I know some don't care to see them die. I want to share what two of my favorite gifts were.

Books. I got many many books from different people all in the category of grieving, infant loss, journaling about loss, faith in God through difficult times, etc. Some people may not enjoy reading but when it was the right time, I did. I want to share two books that I read that were actually my reason for starting this blog. To be honest I felt embarrassed about some of the feelings and thoughts I've had in the last 7 months until I read these books. They are both written by women who have lost a baby and ironically are both married to men who sing and worship in a Christian band. These women expressed some of the same thoughts and feelings that I've had and made me feel like I wasn't alone in them and that it was okay to have those. It also erased the "What did I do wrong to have this punishment?" thought. Here were two couples who gave their life to God every day worshipping and bringing people closer to Him, and they suffered this horrific loss. It doesn't matter who you are. So I thought, if these two books helped me through my difficult times so much then I hope my blog can help others like me. If a loss of a baby ever happens to someone you know, which I pray to God it doesn't (but is more common then you think) I highly recommend these books.

Mending Tomorrow by Alyssa Quilala http://alyssaquilala.com

I Will Carry You by Angie Smith https://www.amazon.com/Will-Carry-You-Sacred-Dance/dp/080546428X

Memorabilia. I absolutely love and appreciate ANYTHING with Calvin's name on it. I'm not going to speak for everyone going through a loss but I bet I could speak for most when I say you want to hear and see their name as much as possible. Having objects with Calvin's name help me to know he is alive in people's hearts and minds. Jewelry is a big one for me because it's something I can wear everyday and is as close to me as possible. I have numerous necklaces and bracelets with his name or initials on them and I love it all. I don't leave the house without wearing at least one of them. It just makes me feel a little better, it reminds me that he is with me. You can't have too many, I love all of the different styles people got for me. We were also gifted a key chain, wind chimes, pictures, and others that all have his name engraved on them. I even had a few people donate a children's book to a library or children's bibles to those in need all in memory of Calvin. We also have things like a landscape stone and garden bench that have quotes about our precious son in Heaven. I appreciate it all, and know that any one of these gifts would help someone in my situation to know their loved one is close.

I am also very grateful for the many donations I received for the Calvin's Love fund. This fund purchased a Buddy Bench in Calvin's name among other things, and is starting our mission "Bibles For Babies." Monetary gifts towards causes that help keep a child's name alive or is something important to them is also a great way to help a grieving parent. I'll never be able to repay everyone for all they did for my family and I. I hope this post was helpful in ways to do something for a grieving parent.

Love to you all,

Jordan

Here are pictures of some of the Jewerly that I was gifted.